I very recently got a haircut, and it's very short. It's short in the back, but sort of long on top/in the front, so I have bangs. Everyone seems to be pretty fond of it, if not surprised. Except my mother. She's not such a happy camper. Lately she's taken to saying I look like one of my "characters". (She wasn't actually the first. My friend Chris looked at me and said, "Benni?" when she first saw the cut. Should I bleach my hair next? Haha.) I tend to draw a lot of androgynous characters with short hair and long bangs. Interesting comparison, mum.
But is it that I look like them, or that they look like me? My most recent drawings have almost entirely been self-portraits, or at very least characters with my own hairstyle. I find it kind of interesting that for the first time I'm actually drawing a character with a physical trait of my own, as opposed to one I desire. I always wanted one of those characters that could just represent me, and as long as certain features were the same, I couldn't feel comfortable with the character. Really, I just couldn't feel comfortable with myself. I think I've been drawing myself because, well, I actually kind of like myself these days. It's kind of amazing how something as simple as chopping off my hair could boost my self-esteem so much.
I've been spending a lot of time thinking about myself and my gender identity, which is something I don't think I've ever addressed here. I've always despised being feminine, while still appreciating being female. Cutting my hair is just one way I can start becoming the person I've always seen myself as and have wanted to be.
I've gotten myself a formspring, so you can check it out and ask any questions you'd like. Any at all. [link]











im from livestream btwwww
--
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
e.e. cummings
thanks
--
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
e.e. cummings
--
Every time you complain about anime in the forums, God beats a dead horse.
--
I'm alone in the inexistent love you created
--
I'm alone in the inexistent love you created
--
Avatar made by =xXScarletButterflyXx!
--
Avatar made by =xXScarletButterflyXx!
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